So I have been thinking and relating pains we face in life, and yes, it’s always fresh somehow
Today I want to talk to someone. Let’s talk about losing loved ones
It is a sure thing, you know where it hurts most; more than your neighbor does, or your best friend
They could be saying everything wrong and you know it
They could be taking your pain lightly and you see it
You know you are wearing a happy face behind a scathed one
You know you are feeling this deep hole that nothing can fill
You walk into your room, and wish you could still hear their voice singing in the mornings
Or hear the words of wisdom they shared
You want to live knowing they prayed for you today, and checked on you
Nothing feels real, and there are times you find yourself wondering why they are not yet back from the grocery, or from the school they taught, or from the farm, or even from the market.
You know you are missing every quarrel that didn’t matter, or how you and your siblings were when they were still alive
Every morning seems to be harder than the one before, and everyone else seems to be moving briskly
You want to keep their best clothes, under your pillow, or read that story book they read you while you were still younger
You want to feel the warmth, but it’s no longer there
There is never a cut and paste situation to what we all feel, but somehow we leave each day at a time
We wake up each morning making commitments to cover every hour as it comes. We never get over it at all, but we learn to live with what we can
So make yourself a progress table, tell yourself, “Today I will cry when I need to”, then at the end of the day ask yourself how you feel. Write down the good things about them, something personal you can remember, or if you can sing, then sing about it. Play a piano, a violin, and drum if you want, go sporting, or go box the punch bag, whatever it is, let it out. Be where people are, they could be people you know or those you don’t, but don’t stay alone. There will always be something to think or wonder about.
Try not to be hard on yourself, there was not much you could do. And when you can’t get answers, trust in the Lord.